HOLY JAMZ
Posted November 19, 2015 by HOLY JAMZ in COMMUNITY, TEACHING, Education, Ministry, Outreach, Inspiration
Spiritual Abuse....recognizing it and knowing what to do biblically….
Yes, a pastor can be controlling and also can be spiritual abusive towards his members it's similar to being in a abusive marriage, it is a trend that is rapidly growing around us. Ungodly, controlling pastors are committing "spiritual abuse" and have hurt many people in the church, this is one reason many suffer from "church hurt". The phrase "ungodly pastors" is very common and it's very real and they are out there. It's the sad truth that there are pastors and leaders who are only in the position for their own desires or personal gain. What is worse that it is also causing church members to fall away and mistrust the church. Some like the position of being in power and being in control of others. This is very UnGodly and can be considered as a cult. Ask yourself, is the Pastor truly serving God or himself? Because serving God does not mean "controlling" his people. A pastor’s position is to "teach" his people the word of God as it is written by GOD. To "build up" God's Kingdom not control it nor tear it down.

All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.
2 Timothy 3:16-17 KJV

So church attendance is vital to our spiritual growth, but if we find ourselves attending church so we can win favor with the pastor, or to make him look good or to earn his trust, then we have missed the point and we are not definitely benefiting our spiritual growth and attending for the wrong purpose.

Knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law, but by the faith of Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Jesus Christ, that we might be justified by the faith of Christ, and not by the works of the law: for by the works of the law shall no flesh be justified.
Galatians 2:16 KJV

These dictating leaders of the church can be described by many words - controllers, manipulators, cult leaders, false pastors, and dictators, these are just a few names. I have seen and experienced the negative effects that these types of leaders can have on people. God has shown me so much on this very subject through my many years in ministry.

Here are some signs of a controlling, unGodly leader.....

* He is proud, carnal, demanding, overbearing, impatient, uncompassionate, "loving" only toward those who submit to him, mean-spirited toward those who do not agree with him or follow him.

*He develops doctrines from verses that only appear to support his view or accommodate his needs.
*He makes people feel that they cannot make important decisions without him. He lets people know God has to go through him first.
*He exalts himself before the people. He praises himself. All eyes and focus on him.
*He ridicules his members, making them look small in the eyes of the church, making his members feel unworthy thus increasing his own prestige and authority and decreasing theirs.
*He treats men who leave as fools and evil men and mocks them within his church body. All kindness and friendship is withdrawn. People are only treated kindly when they submit to his doctrines and "authority."
*He contradicts himself a lot. He is accountable to no one.
*He provokes and intimidates people to get what he wants.
*He demands respect instead of trying to earn respect. He threatens people.
*He wears a phony grin and acts like everything is all right even when things are falling apart in his church.
*He acts as if he knows everything, but he really doesn't know how to handle problems that he has caused.
*He has the capacity to destroy his members verbally and disarm them emotionally.
*He does not recognize the individuality or rights of others. He takes away their rights.
*He has tremendous feelings of entitlement. He believes everything is owed to him as a right. He is the boss.
*He presents himself as a know it all. He is smarter then everyone and makes everyone feel below him.
*He gives the perception that he lives a grand life, but paranoia rules him. He creates an us vs. them mentality because of his perceived hostile environment.
*He lies coolly and easily, even when it is obvious he is being untruthful. It is almost impossible for him to be consistently be truthful about issues.
* He never gives credit to the true originators of ideas.
*He doesn't not have feelings of remorse, shame, or guilt. He feels justified in all his actions. Nothing gets in his way.
*He is unmoved by things that would unset the normal person, while outraged by insignificant matters.
*He can witness or order acts of utter brutality without experiencing a shred of emotion. He is abusive verbally and emotionally.
*He despises community and emotional intimacy towards others, won't reach out.
*He constantly tests the beliefs of his followers, often with bizarre behaviors. He fails to listen to others.
*He readily takes advantage of others, and can care less for anyone else's feelings. Someone in distress is not important to him. Although intelligent, perceptive, and quite good at sizing people up, he makes no real connections with others. He uses his "people skills" to exploit and abuse.
* He rages against a person who is a threat to his church and/or who refuses to cooperate with his underhanded schemes. He loves being in control.

In a controlling pastor, fear is a form of manipulation. Instead of motivating people through love and servant hood, a controlling pastor tries to motivate through manipulation. Motivating people through fear is a direct contradiction to 1 John 4:18, which says, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear.” It is a controlling Spirit.

Let us keep in mind what Gods word says,
Wherefore laying aside all malice, and all guile, and hypocrisies, and envies, and all evil speakings, As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby: If so be ye have tasted that the Lord is gracious. To whom coming, as unto a living stone, disallowed indeed of men, but chosen of God, and precious, Ye also, as lively stones, are built up a spiritual house, an holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices, acceptable to God by Jesus Christ.
1 Peter 2:1-5 KJV

Now, if you’re dealing with this type of situation, how should you respond if your Pastor displays one or more of these UnGodly traits? What should you do? First off ask yourself these questions, are you happy or comfortable at this church? Are you happy or comfortable with your Pastor? Are you growing spiritually? What keeps you there?
A controlling church leader will discourage you from speaking with anyone else about your concerns if you try to confront them. However, the Bible says that “in the multitude of counselors there is safety” (Prov. 11:14). Seek counsel from a mature, objective leader in another church or another mature Christian. It is possible that what you have perceived as a controlling attitude may be genuine concern and God may be telling you something – so pray for discernment. Pray that God will guide and direct you on the right path.

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6 KJV

After you receive Godly counsel and you are convinced in your spirit that your Pastor is in the grip of a unGodly controlling spirit, you are free to leave at any time, you have always been free but you have to make that choice. You have to do what is best for you spiritually. Your Spiritual growth and happiness is very important to God. You have the right to seek spiritual Godly growth where it is properly given. Don't let no one hold you back from that, that’s the enemy keeping you in bondage. It is no different then a wife being in an abusive marriage unable to escape but God always gives a way to be free.
Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.
Matthew 5:6 KJV

Once you break free from that bondage from that controlling Spirit You
first you may feel that you can’t trust another pastor again, but resist those thoughts and pray and find a healthy church where the life of God is flowing, where the Bible is preached without compromise and where love is evident and where you can freely feel God's love and his presence. A good Shepherd is hard to find but they are out there. God said seek and you shall find. God wants you to be free to solely worship him in spirit and in truth being able to have joy, peace and love.

May this be a blessing to someone and May God Bless you.... I pray that you grow deeply spiritual and intimately with the Lord
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